5 Reasons To Respectfully Say, Fuck Therapy
Okay, hear me out before you start to judge me like you’re some omnipotent being; listen to what I have to say, therapy sucks for all the right reasons. (I am not a licensed clinician, I’m just a dude giving his opinion)
- 1. Realization of the problem:
How did any of us even get here, unlike the chicken and the egg debate, you were birthed out of a living human being with a vagina; maybe a cesarean delivery, but still a vagina on one of your parents. Now your birth is likely not the reason why you are having problems in your life, it’s just a byproduct of being alive.
We as a species typically like to associate our tribulations with multiple streams of consciousness (i.e., experiencing trauma, and not healing from them). Our problems are defining points in our life that may act as a catalyst for everything else. Therein lies the issue, how do these catalysts impact our lives, and the lives of our loved ones? Well, a few things could happen but let’s stick with three things.
A. You repress the incident(s) and eventually they spill out and you’ll have to deal with them after a devastating experience, which may impede the lives of you and your close ones.
B. “It happens” you deal with it, kind of, but not really, but enough to not let it affect your life on a regular basis. It’s a semi-honest living situation and eventually, you’ll heal.
C. The thing happens, you’re hurt and lost, angry and driven, or somewhere in-between, but you realize that your problem, turned into a situation and now you need to look for help. - 2. Having to discuss the situation.
Great, now the problem has turned into a situation. What’s the difference?
A. a problem is a source of distress, which may lead one to have an intricate question and is now looking for a solution
B. a situation is the place one will find themselves in relation to their environment.
Now that you understand, let’s talk about who we can talk to. Ourselves, sure; the most critical person to our very existence, yes let’s get our own advice, but let’s have a second opinion. Maybe our parents, siblings, significant other, or a stranger on a train, we need to find someone other than ourselves who will listen, and upon request, provide assistance to ensure our well-being. It’s hard, talking that is. I talk all the time, I talk about nothing all day and then I’m mute when something is on my mind, how uncanny.
I’m not certain how we get there, but I know we just have to. Just break down, cry, scream, panic, and then, breathe. Dry our eyes, drink some water and go outside. It doesn’t matter the weather, go outside, show up somewhere, and start talking. - 3. Understanding the situation.
The silver lining of talking about your problem, is realizing that it has become a situation, and having that epitome allows us collectively, to start having introspection. Do you know how beautiful we are, when we’ve started to grow and transform into something new? If we are never wrong, how will we know how to be corrected? If we are always correct, how will we know when we’re wrong?
The talking is a very long process, for people may need to learn how to trust again, who to trust, how to clearly articulate what we feel, and how we want to say things. We want our words to manifest our emotions when our body language simply cannot. It is at that exact moment; we start to have a better understanding of our situation. Look at what talking about our trauma can do!
We know why we are here; we know how we got here, and who was involved. What we don’t know is also of tremendous value, for that will allow us to keep asking questions, which in return will keep painting a vivid picture of our surrounding environment. After a while, our silver lining may turn into a teachable lesson for others. - 4. Learning about the opportunity.
What opportunity can I possibly be talking about? The opportunity for growth, healing, and of course, the ability to communicate and educate others. This little blurb of mine will probably take you 3–5 minutes to read, but everything said; that’s a lifetime of growth and achievement—something to be worked towards daily, for the sake of our mental and emotional stability.
A problem can very much so turn into an opportunity. Maybe your opportunity is learning to love yourself again or being able to sleep peacefully at night. It shapes differently for everyone. However, I like to believe that the biggest struggle in reaching out for help isn’t taking the first step or realizing that you need to take the first step, it’s understanding that our life isn’t our own. Our life is a window-shopping experience for the passerby, and intrigued audience.
Have I gone on a tangent? If so, I do apologize. Let me simply state my point of this section: Where are you in your journey? Okay, good. Keep moving forward. Are you afraid of what’s to come next? That’s normal, but what reward(s) are awaiting you throughout our journey? Perfect, so now that you’re fully aware of your opportunity, take it. - 5. Talking.
Unfortunately, it’s the strongest and weakest part of my “argument” if you will indulge me in calling it that. You must talk to start, and by the time you’re finished the topics will change, you will have changed, and our journey has morphed into something abstract, yet ever so slightly honorable. If you don’t start talking, you won’t make progress. If you start talking and stop halfway through, you won’t see the progress. Yet you can talk and keep talking and not see progress also.
We must talk, but we must speak with conviction and honesty, and experience our pain again. It can be excruciating; it can also be therapeutic.
Sometimes we have to keep talking, even when the words aren’t right, just so we can retry to save the same thing, but in the correct manner.
Therapy
Do you ever feel like you’re saying the right things, but no one is listening? Or even worse, the person listening doesn’t understand. How can we; if we decide to do so, project our emotional burden on a screen, so that the ones we decide to trust, understand, not experience, our situation?
Yeah, a therapist/counselor/ doctor — whoever can more than likely assist you. You’ll realize that you’ll have a problem you can’t deal with by yourself. So now you have to engage in conversations to understand exactly what type of situation you’re in. You may already be keen enough to understand your situation, if not, it’ll take a while, this is a process. Though fruitful, you may be uncomfortable sometimes, and that is okay, what’s not okay is being uncomfortable most of the time. Those moments of breakthroughs and realizations may provide insight into your life, the event horizon of peace and tranquility is somewhat in view. You, me, us, we just got to talk, and every once in a while we must respectfully say fuck therapy, this shit is hard, but I’ll make it out alright. I may not be a completely better or fully healed individual, but at least I’ll have the knowledge to know; being uncomfortable for my sanity is a small price I’m willing to pay, to be better than I was yesterday.
